This is my life...

i know i dont post alot but i need to write something cause theres no one i want to talk to on msn and nats out of town...and i will tell her this when she calls... 
my parents are have the biggest double standard!
after meals that we dont make there is 2 or 3 of us who are supposed to help clean... or set the table... here is 3 ways it goes down

1. Anna sets the table and i clear and wash *clare does nothing*
2. I set and clear anna washes *Again clare does nothing*
3. clare makes a salade and i do everything

so today at lunch it was me and my parents and clare and adrian right? well okay so my parents set up the food and what not and so when it comes time to clear my dad says... Rose and clare clear but mostly you rose.. WTF? we ate the same amount why do i do more? and clare clears her plate and then does nothing,... i clear everything put away the food and wash the goddamn dishers... she cleared ONE MOTHER FUCKING PLATe!  i hate it and i said right after my dad said :mostly you rose" WHY me? why mostly me> and clare was like YOu are sooo obnoxious ... well fuck yeah im obnoxious you get the easy life.. .maybe i should go have and illigetimate child and then live off my parents so that i get everything i want! also fuck i spent all morning cleaning and she did NOTHING she hasnt cleaned anything fuck i hate this sometimes! i cant wait to leave here !

so mangry! fucking tyranical parents of mine! just shut the fuck up!

and i am okay with that

^{now i realize that that sounds horrible but i mean you must come to terms with issues like that. Otherwise you get inner conflict and your fucked off the bat! so here is exactly what i mean when i say im a liar:}
1) i lie sometimes when people ask how i am (ex to my parents),
2) i lie about who i am dating to my family (who really tells their parents?)&
3) i lie to myself when im pessimistic

so theres the skinny

Sidebar today nat got news that her cat has cancer and its a terribly sad time for her and me of course because something she loves it in pain and she is sad and that obviously makes me sad. But heres the thing she wont talk to me about it well im giving her space but i feel so empty without talking to her usually we talk about everything but right now its a void and all we have is silence. Is that a good thing or is not?

so parents... heres what i would say if i could...
(you don't know my parents but if you did youw ould feel the same)

_{first off i would tell them to get over themselves! they say they trust me but not the world.. well you fucking assholes gotta let me be me and discover my own shit! you cant just take over my decision making right! im sixteen legally allowed to move out of you house, legally allowed to drive a vehicle with a licensed driver, legally allowed to make a decision for myself! when my parents go out of town they dont leave me home alone.. k thats fair but they leave me with clare i feel as though i want to die after spending like 2 minutes with her shes the devil! i not only have 2 parents i have 4 and you know im tired of it.. im tired of trying to fight for what i think is fair im just going to send a hude fuck you to my parents for not trusting me! im fucking responsible! i know how to deal with situations they may not knwo it but i am! i know how to handle myself when ive had afew i know the numbers for cabs! i know all the things that could go wrong and what things i could do ! here are some examples of their crazy rules...}
1. not allowed on a bus once it got dark.... so 4 o'clock in the winter
2. not allowed to have more then one sleepover a weekend
3. Not allowed to miss more then 2 family dinners a week *we have a fam dinner every night*
4. not allowed to be on the phone more then like an hour without them hasseling me
5. they tell me i should go to bed... im 16 bitches
6. i get in shit for wearing sweatpants
7. my mom tries to tell me how to dress
8. my parents dont sit down and ever listen to me
9. i cant tell them the truth about anything cause they are so uptight
10. they say im responsible but dont let me do anything
11. they treat me like a piece of their property... like i belong to them... well you know what i dont i want out! 
12.i get in shit if i get a lower average then 85% 
13. they tell me they give me so much and i should appreciate it *i do but that doesnt me i have to like it!*
14. they still think im 5

^{so basically i am fucking pissed at my parents and nothing will ever chagne with them so....}

IM GIVING UP THE FIGHT!

my life is passively jealous...
Because
of who i am forced to be
I know who i want to be
Yet that person is a meer 
Figment into
Which i cannot become
I am stuck here
in a life that was
Chosen for me 
Whilst i was too young to understand
The rules inforced are stricter
Than the law
And the enforcers 
More vigilant
I wish i was 
Just who i am
But you get to have it all
.....


I'm jealous
its because im young
isnt it
this constant feeling of
but why cant i?

well mostly all the time....

i want more freedom.. i hate how my parents baby me! i mean yeah this is there house that i live in but they have so many rules... for instance they care about how many sleepovers i have.. ridiculous if you ask me! also they have all the control on my life! it fucking sucks! im hoping in grade 12 they will lay off a bit and i will get to have more freedom!

k thats all.. really

peace&love!

this weekend was pretty darn good and it went a little something like this...

so on thursday i bought a ticket to the basketball game to get out of math so i could have the afternoon off... nat picked me up from school at around 12 and we went back to my place... then i had to work at 3 ... i took victo's shift cause i just cant say no.... so i went to work and got home at around 6:15 and nat was waiting at my house i got home and dana called and asked if she could sleep at one of our houses... nat said she could sleep at her place... after the OC dana drove nat to her place and then i got a call around 10 saying they got kicked out of her place so my parents said they could crash here... the next morning we got up super early for a PD day and we drove to Mount St. Marie and we went snowboarding... nat was scared so we stayedon the little hills... got drinks at the bar there and then snowboarded some more.. thenw e went home around 3 30 nat slept here on friday night and on saturday day she slept all day and i went out driving with my dad FOR the first time :O it was okay it wasnt that bad... he said i did really well for my first time theni had tutoring *which i hate FYI* and then nat slept over again cause she was kicked out... and she went home at aroudn 3:30 today and i did my english homeowkr... and yeah since ive been watching CSI and Olympics... oh and also this afternoonbefore nat left i had a really bad headache it was horrible!!! k done!

hope you guys had a good weekend!!!

Peace and love

well it all started on thursday night when my dad fell asleep before he coulld drive nat home.. so she slept over... in hte morning she convinced me not to go to school... bad natalie!!!!!!.... on friday we went to nats house and got our Davern pants...then came home and chilled.. cause nat went to work and i was CRAVING a blt for ...well the whole of friday then i got one on the way to meet kateline at the bus stop and then we smoked a pinner and dana was already at my house and then nat came over and we went to danas..... we got soooo FUCKed up... we jamaican showered and drank a lot.. i was super messed! oh well... then in the morning dana left and nat, kateline and i bought Mr. & Mrs. Smith via PAPERVIEW! it is crazy! got drunk... at like 11 then my dad came and we went back to my house then kateline left and me and nat went to her house and got chinese! Once at nats house nat checked her email and frank sent us one about commnig out for his bday! so we ended up going to Mike's house *franks boyfriends house* and we got plastered! with a whole wack of gay people then we we nt to pink... and i dont even need id there cause the bouncer knows us... sweet! and we danced the night away!

and on sunday morning i made it home and am waiting for SUPERBOWL! heck yes!

Peace and love!

so yesterday.... i went to get a piercing at like 1 and ended up getting it at like 2 in orleans so natalie and i had to bus all the way to work... but i was really hungry so we went to Burger King on the way.. then we got on the bus and i didnt have tickets so we got on the back... and well around Ottawa U the oc cops get on.... so i dont have atransfer so they pulled me off the bus and nat came... as the cops back was turned nats friends boyfriend slips her his transfer...i tell the cop i found my transfer... then we get on the 87 and get to work at 3:55 but they were swimming so victo said we got there at 3:30! it was a fun day!

so school starts again tomorrow... fucking christ! i dont like school its so blah and boring! id rather spend every waking moment and sleeping moment with nat! shes everything to me! i know that she thinks im all about the sex but im not! i just want to sex too! shes the whole package! i hope that it all works out!

Peace out O-town

so yesterday at around 3:30 nat and i went to carlingwood to get boosterjuice.. we walked through the mall with our big bags on...then we caught a bus and went to sarah boss' house alex was there... we pilled all our shit into boss lady's car and drove to perth where we met up with dana.. then we went to mexi's for dinner and me and nat got a pitcher and some nachos... i havent had that many beers since that one day in the summer when steph and i got super tanked off that crazy beer... and so i was a wee bit buzzed and nat toook like 4 cacti... hilaroius! thenw e all got into danas car and went to Davern... once we got there we had to break into the dinning hall and i was the only one who could fit through the tiny crack.. and thenw e made sick rum and lemonade mix that was ridiculous but okay at the same time... then we all went to bed... then in the morning we got up and went to the dinning hall to make breakfast.. fried granola.. SWEET! thenw e packed up and came home... nat came back to my house.. we had a bath then went to work... i decorated a nalg after the bath ... my green one now says... "MJ *with a lil weed leaf* a gift from god to my brothers and me" its a song by phish called Marijuana! its hilaruos i recommend... and yeah and there is a sticker that says CHICK MAGNET and on top i wrote " im taken" cause i am! hahhaha work was okay... and dinner was gross! but hey and natalie couldnt sleep over BOOO! okay im done.... theres a lil update!

cheers!

( ..under the cut... )

well hello there world! well it turns out that ill be allowed to go to cancun if i pays for myself.. but i was planning on doing that too. so yeah im so happy! hell yes now i just gotta save up some dough!

k i guess thats it... grad trip here i come

sometimes i get jealous and... and thats the way it is! and no i will not discuss it!

CONSERVATIVES ARE IN POWER! WTF! yeah the liberals fucked up... quite a bit... but hello conservatives? they are sooooo strict! its fucking ridiculous! first of all... you can kiss gay mariage goodbye... and i say this because it barely passed when it did.. it was hugely controversal and now that its jsut settling in and people are getting used to it... hes going to take it away! and also what about abortion? whos Harper to say that women cant have an abortion? i really dont like this canada! and ya know if i could have voted i would have unfortunetly im too young! fuck!

and to top it all off im just grumpy! who knows why... but screw it this is pissing me off!

THANK GOD its at least a minority government!